Friday, April 30, 2010

the end goal.


i wish i could take picture of what i see. it has been absolutely gorgeous on campus lately. i love it. so many people look totally overjoyed that summer is here yet unbelievably stressed because exams are about to dominate them. at least thats how i am. i really dont have much motivation to study because i am so excited about my summer! a friend sent me this verse the other day for other reasons, but it really applies to my attitude towards school and just life in general right now haha..

"therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross...."
-Hebrews 12:1-2

i was talking with my best friend yesterday about how much filth we both feel like surrounds us. it is truly exhausting sometimes to try and live in a Christ-like manner. we both talked about how so many people, including ourselves, rely completely on themselves to supply happiness and fulfillment. why do we do that? haha... so many times i will find my self getting really discouraged because there are so few people really living by what God has called us to. its really hard to swim against the current sometimes.

thats why this was so encouraging. it reminded me that Christ swam against the current. there is nothing that Christ will give me that i, or any believer, cant handle. Christ calls me to lay aside EVERY hindrance... every sin, insecurity, excuse, everything and set my eyes on him and the cross. he tells me to cling to him and he will give me the endurance to not just get through, but to run. and what is even better is he doesn't just tell me to run to get through my day, but he gives me a reason to run. he gives me a reason to do what he has called me to, he has given me a reason and an end goal. i run for "the joy that is set before me" and i go against the crowd so that more people can know that joy.

when i live my life according to that verse, i will be satisfied. piper has said a million and one times that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him" and im finding that to be more and more true. i can run and not grow weary because i am so joyful to be in step with Christ and his call for my life!

i feel like THIS song is so fitting for this blog. until next time....

abc.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

home.

i went home the other day just for the night and got to do one of my favorite things. i have done this with my dad a couple times growing up, but it had been a while.

we were supposed to have "horrible weather" which only consisted of 1 strike of lightening and like 3 leaves maybe fell. but anyways, for this "tornado" me and my brothers went out on the porch and just hung out. it was so much fun to get to just enjoy listening to them. they always have such entertaining stories.

my dad joined us later and told us all kinds of stories from his childhood. those stories are my
favorites to listen to regardless of how many times i have heard them.

for many reasons, anytime i am with my brothers and dad we always listen to Drive-By Truckers. they are kinda like our family band. so while we were all out there is only seemed fitting to listen to "Tornados" by them. now, every time i listen to that song, my mind and my heart go back to that night and think on what an incredible night it was and how at home i felt. being with my family (usually, ha) puts me at such ease and in such a peaceful mood. i love you each so much!

abc.

"i believe in auburn and i love it"

well. for those who have not heard yet, my friends that were trying to get a Hug..... THEY GOT IT!!! (if you dont know what i am talking about, click Hug to find out!)

Taylor Swift flew to Auburn, AL to do the smallest private concert that she has ever done. for free. it was incredible. i may or may not have turned into a 9 year old little girl and screamed my head off. my friend and i were literally 3 feet away from her.


T-Swizzy herself.

she was so cool!!


to top off everything, she lead all 300 of us in the battle cry. yes, Taylor Swift is an Auburn fan.

to watch the HILARIOUS video of how we found out click HERE.

abc.

Friday, April 23, 2010

lil wyane or lecrae.

so i am a little hesitant to blog on this topic. but, in a way i feel i need to defend myself so here it goes.

i love rap. plain and simple. i am a really fast-paced, up-beat person and rap just matches my style perfectly! one of my favorite things to do is roll down all my windows, turn up the bass, and blare my rap music. (and just so everyone knows, honda accords have some legit bass.) so the other day i was doing just that and then i started thinking about the words i was rapping (quite well i might add haha) and was amazed that i honestly knew every single word to that song.

before i start, i want to make a disclaimer. i am still going to listen to rap, i still love rap, and i still want to know all the words to some songs so that i can pretend that i can rap.

ok. continuing. i was just thinking about all the verses that talk about only letting good and wholesome things in, and what comes in goes out, and all things should be edifying to the Lord.... the list goes on. and i sat there and thought, 'this lil wyte song is probably not that edifying'. shocking, i know.

God has called me to be in the world, but not of it. for me, sometimes that is a very hard thing to do. its hard to find the line of being relatable but still different.

i love goofing off with my friends and dancing and rapping. and i think it is so important that i be able to do that with them and truly enjoy it. but what i was convicted of is when i am not with my friends, and when im not trying to get ready/hyper before i go out, i really dont think i should choose to fill my mind with those things. when it is just me, it would probably be a good decision to listen to "good" music haha

so the decision i came to was that i am definitely still going to keep up to date on my rap knowledge, and i am still going to absolutely break it down when my rap songs come on, but when it is just me i want to do a better job of filling my mind with things that are edifying to my heart and worshipful to the Lord.

which leads me to why i feel that i need to defend myself haha. i also love christian rap. and seriously, everyone makes fun of me for it! but, check out these lyrics then click on the links below and then you tell me its lame...

"Some places if they catch you
they'll arrest you and they'll serve you,
but they still need the word too.
The gospel should be heard too.
We claim we ain't ashamed,
but we ain't hit the block up.
Were in our christian bubble,
while our brotha's get'n locked up.
Lord i wanna stock up, pack a bag and walk up
in a country where my faith may get me shot up
anywhere i go, whether my city Lord or far abroad,
i just wanna show 'em Jesus Christ the risen Holy God."
-Send Me by Lecrae

"Naw I ain't sweaty and my breaths pretty steady, My feet don't hurt and my legs ain't heavyI'm still in the marathon, I keep the pace steadyTemptation is quick, but the Spirit stay readymy eyes on the prize, yeah, they fixed on Christ, Hydrated in the Word but the joints are tightthat's why I get with a coach, who can stretch your boy, who can push, pull, train me and test your boyand blooka , blooka yeah you heard the gun that means run off the blocks, run! The Son is where I stay focused, Avoiding sin and I pass the baton to the faithful men, and we never run in vain or for finite prizes, so when the race is done there will be no surprises The world says quit, we ain't tryin' to hear it, cause to quench our sin's thirst is to quench the Spirit..."
- Run by Lecrae

"I just can't get this HeIs one but eternally exists in three
That's crazy our minds cant grip this we
Need to realize we men so our pictures weak
Just try to understand how he came as a man
But remained I Am, all things in His hand
Say what? The King was slain as the lamb
When He came to the land that He made with His hands
Say what? Just try to make your brain understand
He's so big man's like a grain in the sand
That picture's too big for a frame but my plan is to grow
I pray my picture of the King will expand
I could study forever and read all day
But still wouldn't understand the King all the way
I got a long way to go, but I'm pleased to say
I get to live my whole life just to seek His face"
- Inexhaustible by Tripp Lee

those are just 3, but there are seriously SO many more.(click on the title to listen to them)

so for all those christian rap haters out there, i think you should give it a second thought.

abc.

Monday, April 19, 2010

friendship.

i sat down this morning and planned out my hole day:
- class
- nap for an hour
- do quiet time
- laundry/unpack
- write rough draft for paper
- read for english
- read for history
- ruf
pretty good plan i thought. well, i guess its the thought that counts.... i napped for about 4 hours and didnt get anything else done.

this weekend was the best weekend i have had in a long time. i got to go up and visit all my friends at Wofford. it was the first time i had stayed up there for a period of time since i transferred and it was so good!

I did alot of dancing....

alot of attacking....

alot of hair and makeup....

alot of dancing.... and yes, im upside-down.

alot of catching up....

alot more dancing...


and just alot of fun!

it was seriously so good to see all my friends and catch up on how they are doing.

when i first decided to leave Wofford, it was probably the hardest thing i have ever had to do. one thing about me is that i take my friendships very seriously. i pour everything i am into them. sometimes too much. so when i knew i had to leave, the hardest part was having to leave my friends and the relationships that i hold so close to my heart. i was so scared that when i left they were all going to just move on with life and forget about me and the friendship i had built with them. and when i had a hard time adjusting to auburn, i blamed it on the idea i had in my head that i would never find friends here like i had there.

dont get me wrong, there are a few friendships that i have with certain people at Wofford that i know will never be able to be matched in any way. ever. but i was clinging so tightly to those friendships that i wasnt allowing my self to make knew ones because i thought if i made new ones that would be like me forgetting my "old" ones or lessening the impact that they have had on me.

and i think that is why this weekend was so amazing for me. so much has changed in my life and in the lives of my friends at Wofford, but at the end of the day my friendships there have not changed at all. with each friend i talked to i was either laughing hysterically at all we had missed out on in each others lives, giving and getting advise on how to handle certain situations, being greatly encouraged spiritually, and so much more. even though so much had changed, alot had also stayed the same. and i needed to see that.

i told one of my friends that, in a way, this weekend made me feel even more free to really dive into my relationships here at auburn. and i am so happy to back. i really am so blessed with the friends that i have here. i see now that its not that i have moved on and forgotten in anyway. its that, like Psalm 37 says, i am making myself "dwell in the land" that the Lord has me at. and He really has blessed me with incredible friends here that laugh with (and at) me, encourage me, and really push me to be who God created me to be.

i really am so blessed and so thankful. i feel like the Lord continues to amaze me at how intricately He has planned my life. things keep coming up in my life where i see that if i had not transferred, or gone to project, or gone to southern union, and more, that i would never be able to know the Lord in the way that i do now.

tonight at ruf Richard laid the heat. it was SO good. he spoke on contentment and one of the things he said was,

"Jesus was not content to live without you. St. Augustine said it well when he said, 'God has made us for Him and our hearts are restless until they learn to find rest in Him'. You were made to rest on Christ. He is your life. Without Him you will always be searching."

it was so comforting to be reminded that God desires me. He really does pursue me. and in all his detailing of my life, he planned it that i would gradually come to know more and more of him. this weekend i got to experience a side of God that i love. joy. the joy of being in Christ will. with all the issues i had to deal with personally, i am finally to the point where i am so happy to be where i am at. i am so excited to see what God has for me next. and i am so thankful for the way the Lord got me here.

abc.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

famous for real.

my friends have done it again! this video is incredible!! its already been posted to T-Swift's website and now everyone is anxiously awaiting her reply! good job michael and ryan!!
check it...

http://www.taylorswift.com/news

abc.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

procrastination.


i have had such a busy week and it is only tuesday night.

there is the thing called procrastination that loves to take over my life. im trying to get better at it, but in the battle of abby vs procrastination-it is A=0 P=13. for reals.

i really don't like to plan ahead. i absolutely love living in the moment. i was explaining to a lady i meet with today that this is where i really have problems with some people. to me, life is SO much more fun if you just go with the flow. it is the unexpected "bumps in the road" that bring excitement and adventure into life. if i was to try to micromanage my life, i would never get to do half the things that i have done. i love spontaneity and i hope that i never have to live without that in my life. but i am slowly realizing that not all people are like that. some people find enjoyment in planning and in making sure that everything goes smoothly. even though i do not see how that is fun, to some people, it is!

that being said, i am learning alot about how important it is to plan ahead. and to remember those plans ha. for example, today i was supposed to eat lunch with 3 different people. all of which i forgot about... i am realizing that i really do need more organization in my life.

(so funny story, speaking of unexpected "bumps in the road"... i wrote all that ^^ last night and was interrupted to go on a mini road trip to get donuts and other random stuff... such a fun night! but waking up this morning was not so fun.)

so now i am trying to make my self write EVERYTHING down. everything. and i am really hoping this will pay off.

abc.


Friday, April 9, 2010

aunt aaaaaa.

when i decided to come home this weekend, all my friends told me i was crazy because i would be missing the one and only Rodeo. but honestly, there absolutely nothing else i would rather being doing this weekend than being Aunt AAAAA

abc.

searching.

what a crazy week. it was definitely a "Leyla" week :)
(refer back to the "rooted" post if you don't know what Leyla is)

i found out late monday night that one of my favorite bands was having a concert on wednesday night in the ATL. so. of course, i had to go. it was not long after that i also found out it was their farewell tour because the band was breaking up. so then it was basically a life or death situation. ha. i literally asked every single one of my friends to go with me. literally. all of them. to which i got the same response, 'man i wish i could but i have to, (insert something that has to do with school work). otherwise i totally would". i cannot put into words how frustrated i was. i just wanted to see Copeland!! but, then, God worked a miracle. i went to an RUF meeting and the girl i was sitting next to started talking about how boring her week was and how little she had to do. to which i jumped (literally) and asked her if she wanted to come and BAM. concert road trip was in motion. we ended up having some awesome bonding time in the car, eating junk food, and jammin' out to some awesome tunes all the way there and back. the concert was AMAZING. the people behind me were probably very annoyed with my dancing, but oh well. i love music, what can i say. so after a night of great friend time and awesome music, i got home, went to bed, and was rudely awakened at 7 am for my ethics class.

and it just wouldn't be a normal thursday if i didn't have some absurd statement from my ethics teacher. (cathy, this is for you) and yes, we are STILL talking about virtue. and i quote....

"The virtuous still possess virtue while they are asleep, its just that they are asleep and so cannot carry out any virtuous deeds"

wow. enlightening. i am so glad i have and hour and 15 min devoted to this.

this week i also got to hold my beautiful, baby nephew for the first time. it is so surreal to hold him. he fell asleep in my arms for about an hour today and i just sat there and stared at him the whole time thinking about how fast he is going to grow up and wondering what all God has in store for his life. i cannot wait to see the man he turns out to be.

it has also been really neat for me to watch lindsey and colby in the way the are teaching both ellie jane and john. the way they love both of them so affectionately and so wisely. i never realized how many analogies of parents with their children and Christ with us can be made. i mean, i know we are His children, but i never really stopped to think about an actual picture of what that means. just watching linds and colby tonight it amazed me that Gods love for john and ellie jane greatly surpasses their love for them both. that love is unimaginable to me.

which leads me to my next thought. recently with friends, a teacher, and an incredible musician i have been amazed to see how desperately people are searching for someone to love them.

i have this english teacher who honestly, is the bomb.com. i love her. she is EXTREMELY liberal and just really out there. she used to be in hells angels (yes, the motorcycle gang), she was really abused in her 20's, has been in rehab, she used to be a hardcore feminist, the list goes on. so because of her unbelievably difficult past she has learned to be independent to the max. she only depends on herself. and honestly, i can't blame her.
the first day of class she said "if your conservative, leave it at the door because i wont listen to any of your s***. being close minded is dumb, and if your dumb i will fail you." i wanted to crawl in a ball and hide. but i really have come to enjoy her class and im very fascinated by her. she shocked me with what she said in class on monday and wednesday though. it was so out of her character...

"you can't fall out of love. love is so much more than a feeling. its a decision. if you say 'i fell out of love' than thats a load of bull s***. basically what your saying is you gave up. if you truly love something, then you work for it. you work for it like you have never worked before. you work FOR it and you work AT it."

then on wednesday she said,

"most people who have changed things in this world have gone at it calmly but steadfastly. and usually they used parables. but the ones that rock this world are the ones that die for the change they believe in. socrates gave his life for his beliefs, kate chopin gave her career which was her life... i wonder what it would look like if someone now a days believed for something that much. i sure as h*** haven't found anyone"

both days i left class and could not get her out of my mind. everything she said the first day, to me, is the Gospel. Christ made the decision to love us. to love me. he loved me so much that he died for me. he died for his 'cause'. Christ went about proclaiming his truth, calmly but steadfastly. and God has been working on me, pursuing me, since creation. it absolutely breaks my heart that a person's eyes can be that blind to unconditional love.

if my grade weren't on the line... man i would talk with her like there was no tomorrow.

then, Aaron Marsh, the lead singer of Copeland, sat down at his piano wednesday night, didn't say a word, and began to sing the most beautiful song. i have listened to it a million and 1 times, but i had never REALLY heard it before....

"feel the pain teaching us how much more we can take, reminding us how far we've come. let the pain burn away from our heart. we have time to start all over again. well if you would shine your love down here oh make our hearts as perfect as new, oh if you would shine your love down here oh i promise i'd reflect right back at you. oh i promise i'd reflect it right back at you"

and there it was again. that heart-breaking feeling. sometimes, well alot of times, i wonder why God doesn't just save everyone.

i wish that i had the ability to express clearly what i felt in these and a few other instances this week. but honestly, i dont know how to put it into words. it was this almost helpless feeling. i felt so small. so many people are searching for something to make them feel. wether it be to feel alive, meaningful, special, loved, complete.... they all just want something more. as i have thought over these things this past week, i have just gotten really frustrated with the Lord. all my 'why' questions started coming up. the main one being "why me? why did you choose to save me but not him, or her, or them?" in the book Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, Paul Tripp says,

"God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things in the lives of others... God never intended us to simply be the objects of his love. We are also called to be instruments of that love in the lives of others"

i was frustrated because i knew that there was absolutely nothing i could do to help these people. there was 100% nothing, done by me, that could make them feel any better or any more loved. but reading that reminded me that its not me that changes people. how dare i give myself that much credit haha! God is the healer. God is the forgiver. God is the comforter. God is the rock. God is understanding. God is fulfillment. God is life.

God doesn't need me. God wants me. God wants me to know him so that i can glorify him by living my life in a way that demonstrates him. i have to know that i am nothing and he is everything..

overall this week was awesome. like i said, it was a very "Leyla" week and i loved it. my road trip was so fun, the weather has been amazing, my family is the bomb, and my God is indescribable.

abc.

famous.

so my friend is officially famous! they were on CMT insider (national TV. ya.), tons of radio stations and im sure they have lots more to come! also, taylor swift posted her 2nd challenge and on april 13th the guys are releasing their response to challenge #2! check it out...

http://ahugfromtaylorswift.com/

abc.

the relentless pursuit.

lately i have just been blown away by the Lord and how much He loves me. the weather here on The Plains has been absolutely beautiful. so yesterday me and one of my great friends went out to the state park here and took pictures, hung out, and spent some sweet time talking about the Lord and what He has been doing in our lives. (i HATE that pictures are separate from my blog! but go to the pictures tab and you can see some pictures from our adventure!!) while we were there, we were talking about how blessed we are to know God the way we do and how we both honestly just want to know more of Him...

if someone were to ask me about my testimony, it would be so different now than it was just one year ago. this time last year i was at Wofford, playing tennis, and had every intention of returning there for the next 4 years. but go even further back, if you had asked me to share my testimony the day i graduated, it would be a totally and completely different story than it is now. thank God for His grace and mercy. thank the Lord that He does not listen to what we think is best for our selves!

i think back over the course of my college career and am amazed at the love from the Father that i get to see. i went to Wofford, in a relationship, out of the relationship, played tennis, did a sorority, in 3 days decided i was going to leave Wofford, went to project, made new friends, had my first job, went to Southern Union, in a relationship, transferred to Auburn, out of the relationship, in a new sorority (Chapter), and am now about to go to a whole new project...

when i was at Southern Union, i cried almost everyday because i could not figure out what the heck God was trying to teach me or show me. i KNEW my way would have worked out alot better if He had just listened to me! HA! i asked why about everything. why did i have to leave Wofford? why did i have to come to the 1 school that i said i would never come to? why did God make project so hard for me? why am i not happy? why are you doing this to me God? why?

and over the past semester here at Auburn, God has shown me why. it was simply so that i could know my Father in a deeper way.

that is how much God demands glory.

a couple of weeks ago i was at a retreat for this summer and as i was talking to my future d-group leader (yay!!!!!) i made the comment, "its amazing that it took that much for me to see my pride and for God to break me" to which my leader said, "yea, you could look at it like that. or you could see it as how amazing it is that God loves me enough to relentlessly pursue me like that. that at no cost what-so-ever, he demanded my love"

praise the Lord for his unconditional love. now walking around campus and just while spending time with my friends here, i want that for them. i want people to know this love that i've gotten a taste of. i want people to surrender and fall in love with this God that will not, at any cost, give up on the pursuit of their soul.

"Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside"

abc.

thought of the day.

have you ever wondered why you do some of the things you do? well i was seriously questioning my decision as to why i was sitting in my ethics class this morning. i think it was quite possibly the most pointless class i have been to. and i quote, "to be virtues, is to have virtue and that would evolve by having all the particular virtues that there are" and "what is it to be patient? It is to act as a patient person acts" really? thank you captain obvious. it was really hard for me not to burst out in laughter in class today...

oh, and i am basically famous now. i am on Taylor Swifts website!!!! (for maybe .2 seconds ha) check it out... challenge #1 is complete and they are now waiting to get challenge #2! ( http://www.taylorswift.com/ ). the guys also made it onto CMT and have been doing tons of radio interviews... its so crazy! and just incase you dont see me, i am in the back on the 2nd time they cross the street... i am so proud

abc.

freedom.

what a day. my shenanigans is already over. this is how it went down...

I got a friend at wofford to call my target and they got their dorm building and room number, it was genius. (this is after i had already figured out what my target was doing from 1 to 5:45 today and with who and who he was eating lunch with at the exact time and place.... i did my homework) so i go to the dorm and my target had stinkin' body guards. so i shot them when they opened the door and not him so we went into a 1 hour draw meaning i couldn't shoot him for an hour. but as i walked to my class after that my assassin came up behind me and "killed" me. so i am done with my shenanigans. i am actually really sad because it was so fun

as far as my friend that is about to be famous... ( ahugfromtaylorswift.com ) they filmed their response to Taylor Swift's challenge today and I went with one of my great friends. so i may be on T-Swifts website!! i went a little crazy... embarrassing.

Dad you will appreciate this... my BEST friend in the whole world got back yesterday and i was SO excited! it was so neat getting to hear about all her cool adventures and see the pictures. it was also cool because i realized just how much she means to me. i love friendship but especially hers. anyways.. so last night i was at her house and i met 2 of her friends and by the end of the night i had gotten them to believe that my Dad was in the CIA and that he also flies fighter jets and other planes and that I was in a plane crash with him onetime. I also had them believing that through my Dad i am good friends with Gerard Butler and that my Dad basically started the TV show Lost. They also though i had been to 21 different countries... it was great. Funny thing is, they still think all that... oops!

On a more serious note, I learned some neat stuff about the Lord today. I am going through the book, "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands" by Paul David Tripp. (I highly recommend it.) In it he says,

"Sin is fundamentally idolatrous. I do things because my heart desires something more than the Lord... This is the great spiritual war beneath every battle of behavior--the war for control of the heart... What we worship determines our responses to all our experiences. Sin is much more than doing the wrong thing. It begins with loving, worshiping, and serving the wrong thing."

i began to try to think of what other things i worship. it was pathetic. Makeup, fashion, style in general, grades, success, acceptance, fun... and it was basically in that order. if that doesn't show the sin in my heart i dont know what does. Paul was so right when he talked about wanting to do good, but sin being right there. no wonder my walk with the Lord is hard, look at how many other things my heart is desiring. i want the Lord to be the one desire of my heart. those other things should be worship, but right now they are idols.

random tidbit about me is that i love me some christian rap and Tedashii says it so well in his song Make War...

"I make war cause sin never sleeps. it's got me in a trance, you can see it in my dreams. I make war, man i beat my flesh the the death, every breath, like a beat my chest...."

and John Piper said, "I hear so many christians murmuring about their imperfections, and their failures, and their addictions, and their short-comings. And I see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur... why am I this way? MAKE WAR!"

This is the mindset i want to have. i want to make war against my sinful heart. i want to fight to make Christ the desire of my heart. i want to take up the armor of God and go to battle every day so that Christ can be glorified through my imperfections and through my failures and through my addictions and through my short-comings.

I see now that my sin isn't something to be guilted or haunted by. No, instead it should be a daily reminder of the unconditional love of Christ and his demonstration of that on the cross. My sin is a constant reminder that without Christ i am nothing. So i am free of the shame and guilt that comes with sin and am now enable to RUN to Christ freely and joyfully saying 'here is my dirty, broken, and unworthy heart. take it and mold it to yours. purify my heart o God' and he does. i love the freedom that is found in Christ.

"...but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. so that, as sin reigned in death, grace might also reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 5: 20-21

abc.

shenanigans.

I never realized how excited I would get about a single game! The name is Shenanigans and I am obsessed. I am involved with a group called RUF on campus and tonight at midnight a "get to know you" type game is being started. You are assigned one person that you have to hunt and someone else that hunts you. And to "kill" that person you have to douse them with a water gun. EVERYWHERE and EVERYTHING is fair game!

Just so you know how into I am... my watergun has a strap. It shoots 25 feet. I. am. pumped.

So for the next 2 weeks I will be living my life completely paranoid and lugging around a massive watergun EVERYWHERE...

It's really funny though. Because of this, I blocked my whole facebook, changed my picture, and my name... All so that I can hide my identity. This has been a huge confidence booster though because people seem to be genuinely concerned that most of my facebook has disappeared. I love it. I feel like tomorrow is christmas. I will definitely keep you up to date on all my shenanigans.

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a hug from taylor swift.

I have a friend that is about to be famous!! Check out their mission and Taylor Swift's response!

http://ahugfromtaylorswift.com/

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scatterbrained.

So today has been a hilarious day. I have been in the most ridiculous mood and its been fantastic. I drove my roommate to class and was talking to her about how hyper and borderline crazy I have been these past 2 day and how I couldn't figure out why! Just to give some examples...

I decided I was going to drive to Wofford and surprise my friends and then drive back all in one day... 10 hours in the car. After doing the math though I decided that was a really stupid idea. Dont worry Mom and Dad, I didn't follow through with that plan.
Then I went to my speech class and everything the teacher said I would spark up a conversation about it with him... it was hilarious.
Then I saw a bunch of people I knew on the concourse (all at different times) and for each one I was way too excited to see them. It was slightly embarrassing looking back.
THEN, one of my great friends has 3 test tomorrow so I decided to get a gallon of bluebell ice cream and make some cookies to distract her from studying and hang out with me... my plan worked brilliantly.
And lastly, I had a very long conversation with my ballin' friend "Terell Owens" in which many inside jokes were formed.... especially a certain nickname....

So back to my talk with my roommate... I was trying to figure out why I have been so scatterbrained lately. I've boiled it down to 2 reasons:

1. This weather is insanely bipolar and so I feel the need to match my personality to it
2. My best friend Izzy is in Ireland and I haven't talked to her in 10 days!! She is the other half of me that keeps me
sane and I think this is the real cause for my randomness.

I will say though, that these past two days have been so much fun and I absolutely love it here on The Plains. So thanks roommate for helping me come to this realization and Iz, hurry up and get back. And lastly, "Terell Ownes" I hope your dreams are exactly what we talked about.

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thought of the day.

I am going through the book of Luke with a close friend and at the end of each chapter we are supposed to come up with a question to discuss. I was reading Luke 5 today and was just blown away at the faith of those men then...

"And Simon answered, 'Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.' And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.... But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, 'Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord'" Luke 5:5-8

I wish I did this. I wish that I would realize the weight of my sin, so much so that I fall on my face before the Lord. And its this thought that brought me to my question for that chapter...

What if I lived my life like that? How different would my friendships, relationships, desires, actions... look if I lived with the conviction that I am nothing and the freedom that Christ is everything?

It is so cool to me that despite how sinful I am and how unworthy I am, Christ loves me so much. Its amazing that even with such sin I can have this freedom. That is the beauty of Christ to me... that among everything hard, dirty, wrong, and sinful he says to come to Him. He allows me to run in total freedom, to shake of my shackles and dance.

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rooted.

So lately I have had this reoccurring picture in my mind of Roots. I have this idea of how I want to be, I just dont know how to be it.

I want to be rooted. I want to be deeply grounded in my faith and in my character.

However, before I get into my predicament, I must explain myself. I feel so trapped by my alter-ego sometimes. I have this free spirited side to me that wants to forget everything that has anything to do with rules and just live. That side of me wants to skip class everyday and just be outside taking pictures or painting (neither of which I actually do). But then I have this other side that wants to live by my planner. It loves having things set in stone and thrives on goals. And this is where my problem comes in. Those two are constantly at war.

Sometimes I feel like that planner, goal oriented, "Stacy" side of me is actually sin within me. Like when I feel like the Lord is calling me to stop what I am doing and just pray, but I dont because, heaven forbid I get behind schedule. But then I also feel like my free spirited, artsy, "Leyla" side of me is sometimes sin because I will just avoid responsibility and such to selfishly spend the day by myself doing whatever I want to do. I feel like I am a walking contradiction.

This is all coming out because of what I did today. I just got back from spring break and so I have 3 bags to unpack, 2 loads of laundry to do, a car to clean out, and school. Instead of doing all that though, after class I went to the state park here and just journaled. It was so needed. I have to figure out how to balance Stacy and Leyla.

I have realized though that to balance them, I have to fully understand them. They are not two personalities contradicting each other, they are two facets of my personality that complement each other. God has given me an incredibly driven spirit and that is a great thing. He has also given me an extremely go-with-the-flow personality and that is great too. When I learn to see them each as a blessing and learn to control both is when I will be able to be Stacy and Leyla simultaneously. I will be able to be the Abby that God created me to be. And the only way I will be able to be the full Abby is when I am fully grounded, or rooted, in Christ.

So all this is to say that I have realized to be effective, to have a ministry, to enjoy being myself, to really love life, I have to first know myself which means I have to first know my Father. I want my life to be a reflection of the Gospel, but in order to do that, I have to know its Author. I have to have a deep and solid understanding of who I am built off of. I want my roots to be deep in the Lord.

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beginner.

I have been wanting to join the blogging world for a while now, but never really found a reason to. But, the more I have thought about it, I just really want to! So this is my stab at being a cool blogger. Hope you enjoy!

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