Thursday, October 28, 2010

a tripy kind of day.

Well, today has just been a really funny day.

it all started at 5:45 this morning. Yes, i woke up at 5:45. i got a wake-up call from my mom saying 'time to goooo' so i jumped out of bed, confused, because i had forgotten that i was at home. i slept the entire way back to auburn and my mom dropped my off, just like the good ole days, right in front of my class.

so as i start walking into my class, i quickly lose my balance and slip and fall, completely on my butt, in front of TONS of people, and get many "oh that just made my day" looks. i then precede to my Global Consumer Affairs class, which will be the death of me, only to type all my notes and forget to press Save... so i lost them all.

i then remember, 'Oh ya, i am teaching today and forgot i have to rent out instruments!"

so i scurry on over to haley center and rent out "music sticks" then go to the Education Library to rent a CD for the class. after taking up, literally, 30 min of the librarians time, a girl from my class walks in to inform me she checked out the CD and has a burned copy for me.... which she told me in class last week, i had just forgotten. whats new.

so i head out to the school to teach a Pre-K class about Loud and Soft sounds.. and when i ask "what is a really loud sound in nature that you can think of?" one little, very precious, boy says, "ooo ooo ooo pick me! pick me! a butterfly!!" no, im sorry... butterflies are silent. and i had MANY other answers just like that during the entire lesson!

also, while i was in the middle of teaching, another little boy (my personal favorite) raises his hand and says in his cute little voice, "Ms. Cunninham can i go gets some stishus? i gots some buggies!" and sure enough, his finger is COVERED in green boogers. i tried not to laugh, but i couldn't help it.

i then head back to my house to sit down and get some homework done, but fall asleep and take a 4 hour nap. oops. and it wasn't until i put my hands down to sit up that i realized how bad my hands hurt from falling this morning and just started laughing at my ridiculous day.

all that being said, the classroom was incredible. i absolutely loved it. the kids were the cutest little kids i have ever seen. and all they wanted was to the center of attention. i can't wait to have a classroom of my own!

abc.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

i am second.

i know, i know.. i already blogged once today. but whatever.

there's this website that i think is so cool called "i am second." you should check it out... today i was on it and came across this little girl's clip . it was amazing to me that a girl this young could actually get it.

but what blew me away was when i came across Brian Welch's clip. this guy used to be in the band Korn and his testimony is incredible.

but what REALLY blew me away was how these two people- literally as opposite as they come- are talking about the same God. thats amazing.

abc.


instruments in His hands.

"The good news of the kingdom is not freedom from hardship, suffering, and loss.
It is the news of a Redeemer who has come to rescue me from myself.
His rescue produces change that fundamentally alters my response to these inescapable realities.
The Redeemer turns rebels into disciples, fools into humble listeners.
He makes cripples walk again.
In him we can face life and respond with faith, love, and hope.
And as he changes us, he allows us to be a part of what he is doing in the lives of others.
As you respond to the Redeemer’s work in your life, you can learn to be an instrument in his hands."
-Paul David Tripp

abc.

Monday, October 11, 2010

here with me.

"I long for your embrace
Every single day
To meet you in this place
And see you face to face

Will you show me?
Reveal yourself to me?
Because of your mercy
I fall down on my knees

And I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

You're everywhere I go
I am not alone
You call me as your own
To know you and be known

You are holy
And I fall down on my knees

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love

I surrender to your grace
I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel your presence here with me
Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty
Caught up in the wonder of your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to your love."

i have a huge nutrition test tomorrow. the last test i had in there, i studied 5 days in advance, made over 300 notecards (which i knew EVERY SINGLE ONE), and took every practice quiz/test i could, and rewrote ALL my notes. annnnd i ended up with a 62 on that test.

our test tomorrow, according to our teacher, is supposed to be ALOT harder...

i met with my advisor today about classes for next semester and how im doing in this one. it was then that she informed me that the cohort im applying for only accepts the top 25 students and so if i wanted to have a fair chance at even getting considered then i needed to have AT LEAST a 3.0 by the end of this semester.

so, ever since that meeting, i have been absolutely freaking out about my test tomorrow. if i studied that much for my test last time and got that bad of a grade and this one is supposedly harder- how the heck am i supposed to get a good enough grade in this class to bring my GPA up even more?! i feel like there is SO much pressure on me to be perfect. i feel like i have absolutely no room for error.

i know that i am a smart girl. but after my last test in this class, i have zero confidence in myself regarding my capability to know, understand, and do well on my test tomorrow.

so as im sitting in barns and nobel silently feeling like my world is crashing down on me so hard i want to just give up, this song comes on my shuffle and it hits me. that verse i have heard a million and one times...

"i can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."

does that mean i no long have to study? no. does that mean that i can do the bare minimum and he'll take care of the rest? no. God is no magical genie that i can just make a wish and he bow to my every desire. (thank goodness!)

BUT- it does mean that i can rest secure in the knowledge that God is here- with me. and in the grande scheme of things, though my test tomorrow is very important, there are bigger things at work here. and God sovereign so this whole stressin' to the max about my future, and applying for this school, and finding cohorts, or pre-teaching, or WHATEVER- that God is in total control of this. "...You're everywhere I go- I am not alone. You call me as your own , to know you and be known..." i am not alone in this because Christ has had my life intricately planned out since before i was knit together in my mothers womb.

again, this blog was for me. to preach to myself the gospel that God is in total control of my life. and stressing like i have been does nothing but suck every last drop of joy out of this entire process.

pray for me as i study and take this test, because i do need to do really good on it! but also pray that i will constantly be reminded that my identity is not in my grades, and that the Lord is so beautifully sovereign.

abc.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

reminiscing.

on twitter, on facebook, on campus, and in every conversation, people are talking about this gorgeous weather. how pretty it is outside, how much they love that its finally cold and they can pull out their boots and flannel and drink a pumpkin spice latte from starbucks. i think i read 30 tweets just today about how life is so stressful but this gorgeous weather/time of year is helping get them through it... it just puts them in a great mood.

it hasn't really done the same for me. its actually brought up very mixed emotions- excited, frustrated, anxious, sad, peaceful, angry.... but just tonight i feel like i've figured out why...

i know i was only there for one fall, but that one fall at wofford was indescribable. before i go any further... this is a happy post- i promise. this isn't resorting back to my 'woe is me' phase. as a disclaimer, i do like auburn and this is in NO way me saying i wish i wasn't here....

that being said, wofford really is beautiful this time of year. but its more what i did with all my friends that fall that makes me reminisce so much. just to tell a couple stories...

- one night at around midnight steph and i decided we wanted "HOT NOWWWW" doughnuts and that we wanted to go star gaze. so we got the doughnuts (2 dozen.. freshmen 15 much?), got all our friends up, and about 11 or so of us went out on the football field, ate hot doughnuts, and star gazed. that was followed by a ridiculous amount of pictures, some sliding down the big hill, and then campus safety spotlighting us, taking down all our names, and giving us a stern talking to...
- another night me and 5 of my closest girl friends decided to partake in some pranking.. we preceded to cover our friends car in, literally, thousands of post its. it was beautiful. funny thing- that was only one night after the football field incident and yes, we got talked to again by campus safety... it was great.
- there was one time when steph, quinn, and i decided to drive to greenville only to arrive there at around 1. so by the time we decided to head back at around 345 i asked quinn to drive because i was too tired... needless to say, i was out in about 2 min (maybe less) and do not remember one thing about the drive home. much less getting into bed. i was so worn out.
- another fall memory is when steph, jack, and i all went and sat at "The Spot" and eventually made it out onto the baseball field at around 1 or 2 just to lay there, bundled up, talking about our lives...

there are countless other stories that i hold so close to my heart with those friends. its hard for me here- because walking around campus, seeing the football field, then the baseball field, seeing a place that has rocking chairs similar to "The Spot", and so many other things... it just takes me back. back to a great year filled with some of the best friends i've ever known.

the reason im blogging all this is for my sake. for SO long, i've thought that to 'get over' transferring, or to 'move on' i had to suppress those memories. i thought that if i talked about them then i would start crying and just get depressed or something. but its the opposite. by allowing myself to see the good in those, its allowed me to really appreciate the good here.

those are some of my most favorite memories that i have. and talking about them brings the biggest smile to my face. talking about them, reminiscing, brings this surreal joy to me that is kinda unexplainable.

the beginning of this season was really hard for me because i kept thinking 'i just want to go back'.. but thats not true. i want to be in the will of my Father, regardless of how easy or hard it is. and He has me here. and its great.

i made myself write those memories because they are such fun memories to have and the people that are in them- they will never be replaced. ever. but what i forgot in all my self-pitty is that there are SO many memories still to be made! here. now. with the incredible friends God has blessed me with here.

do we have somewhere close thats fun like greenville? no. do we have access to the football and baseball stadiums at the wee hours of the night? not if we dont want to go to jail..... but when i think back to that chapter of my life- we could have been sitting on the floor in marsh 219 and been having just as much fun. it was the people. and that is what the Lord has given me here and is continuing to open my eyes to.

i have some amazing friends here. friends that, because of knowing them, i am a better person. and i can't wait to do all kinds of fun, spontaneous, ridiculous, possibly stupid things with.

- go on numerous road trips to who knows where with the bestie, iz.
- randomly drive an hour and a half just to go to prietsers so that katie and i could get really good pecans and ice cream
- have random rolling-chair dances in the studio
- going to insamnia just to hang out with some great friends
- FISHBOWL.
- procrastinating by painting random quote things for our house with amy...

i am so grateful for the friends that the Lord has given me. the ones here, the ones there, and the ones everywhere in between...

"more than that,
we REJOICE in our sufferings,
knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not put us to shame,
because God's love has been poured into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit
who has been given to us..."
romans 5:3-5

abc.