on twitter, on facebook, on campus, and in every conversation, people are talking about this gorgeous weather. how pretty it is outside, how much they love that its finally cold and they can pull out their boots and flannel and drink a pumpkin spice latte from starbucks. i think i read 30 tweets just today about how life is so stressful but this gorgeous weather/time of year is helping get them through it... it just puts them in a great mood.
it hasn't really done the same for me. its actually brought up very mixed emotions- excited, frustrated, anxious, sad, peaceful, angry.... but just tonight i feel like i've figured out why...
i know i was only there for one fall, but that one fall at wofford was indescribable. before i go any further... this is a happy post- i promise. this isn't resorting back to my 'woe is me' phase. as a disclaimer, i do like auburn and this is in NO way me saying i wish i wasn't here....
that being said, wofford really is beautiful this time of year. but its more what i did with all my friends that fall that makes me reminisce so much. just to tell a couple stories...
- one night at around midnight steph and i decided we wanted "HOT NOWWWW" doughnuts and that we wanted to go star gaze. so we got the doughnuts (2 dozen.. freshmen 15 much?), got all our friends up, and about 11 or so of us went out on the football field, ate hot doughnuts, and star gazed. that was followed by a ridiculous amount of pictures, some sliding down the big hill, and then campus safety spotlighting us, taking down all our names, and giving us a stern talking to...
- another night me and 5 of my closest girl friends decided to partake in some pranking.. we preceded to cover our friends car in, literally, thousands of post its. it was beautiful. funny thing- that was only one night after the football field incident and yes, we got talked to again by campus safety... it was great.
- there was one time when steph, quinn, and i decided to drive to greenville only to arrive there at around 1. so by the time we decided to head back at around 345 i asked quinn to drive because i was too tired... needless to say, i was out in about 2 min (maybe less) and do not remember one thing about the drive home. much less getting into bed. i was so worn out.
- another fall memory is when steph, jack, and i all went and sat at "The Spot" and eventually made it out onto the baseball field at around 1 or 2 just to lay there, bundled up, talking about our lives...
there are countless other stories that i hold so close to my heart with those friends. its hard for me here- because walking around campus, seeing the football field, then the baseball field, seeing a place that has rocking chairs similar to "The Spot", and so many other things... it just takes me back. back to a great year filled with some of the best friends i've ever known.
the reason im blogging all this is for my sake. for SO long, i've thought that to 'get over' transferring, or to 'move on' i had to suppress those memories. i thought that if i talked about them then i would start crying and just get depressed or something. but its the opposite. by allowing myself to see the good in those, its allowed me to really appreciate the good here.
those are some of my most favorite memories that i have. and talking about them brings the biggest smile to my face. talking about them, reminiscing, brings this surreal joy to me that is kinda unexplainable.
the beginning of this season was really hard for me because i kept thinking 'i just want to go back'.. but thats not true. i want to be in the will of my Father, regardless of how easy or hard it is. and He has me here. and its great.
i made myself write those memories because they are such fun memories to have and the people that are in them- they will never be replaced. ever. but what i forgot in all my self-pitty is that there are SO many memories still to be made! here. now. with the incredible friends God has blessed me with here.
do we have somewhere close thats fun like greenville? no. do we have access to the football and baseball stadiums at the wee hours of the night? not if we dont want to go to jail..... but when i think back to that chapter of my life- we could have been sitting on the floor in marsh 219 and been having just as much fun. it was the people. and that is what the Lord has given me here and is continuing to open my eyes to.
i have some amazing friends here. friends that, because of knowing them, i am a better person. and i can't wait to do all kinds of fun, spontaneous, ridiculous, possibly stupid things with.
- go on numerous road trips to who knows where with the bestie, iz.
- randomly drive an hour and a half just to go to prietsers so that katie and i could get really good pecans and ice cream
- have random rolling-chair dances in the studio
- going to insamnia just to hang out with some great friends
- procrastinating by painting random quote things for our house with amy...
i am so grateful for the friends that the Lord has given me. the ones here, the ones there, and the ones everywhere in between...
"more than that,
we REJOICE in our sufferings,
knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not put us to shame,
because God's love has been poured into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit
who has been given to us..."