Sunday, July 25, 2010

encouragement.


this sermon is AWSOME. i love it so much. it is so encouraging and i highly, HIGHLY recommend you take 42 minuets out of your day and listen to or watch it. its legit.

click on THIS link and it will take you to the page. from there you'll see where it says messages... click to the right 14 times till you see the box thing that says "everybody" and click on it. (i promise this is alot easier than it sounds!) and from there you'll see a little box where you can either listen to it or watch the sermon.

abc.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

rebuilding.


SBP is coming to a close and i am so not ready. i dont want it to be over! i have had the most incredible summer in so many ways... growing spiritually, having my eyes opened to so much, hanging out with awesome new friends, pouring into other girls and being poured into by so many otheres, breaking some rules (haha), getting almost no sleep, working somewhere i would have preferred not to, having to learn to stand up for myself, learning what it means to die to myself, experiencing what the body of Christ looks like and should always be doing, the power of prayer, taking WAY too many pictures, dance parties out the wazoo, developing a deep, deep bond with my 3 girls, experiencing true accountability, being broken, and also being rebuilt. just growing up in every aspect.

this summer was incredible for one main reason- God began the rebuilding of my heart.

since november of my freshman year of college God has taken away so many things that i held so close to my heart and for so long i tried to fight it. after this past semester at auburn, i finally accepted what was going on in my life and decided to start dealing with it. and it has been incredible.

i see now why God broke me down SO much and it was so that he could rebuild me in truth, in wisdom, in passion, and in vision.

before i didn't know who i was without all my "things". now, i still dont know what i want to do with my life, or my major, or where i'll be in 2 years.... but i do know one thing- i know my position in Christ. i know who i am in my Father and i know, that i know, that i know, that i know that he is so sovereign. i love it!

no lie satan feeds me, no desire my flesh craves can satisfy me like my Father. i've heard that literally my. whole. life. but now i can say it and then begin to tell anyone and everyone how and why i know that and BELIEVE it.
_____________________________________

to catch you up on my life.... it has been bu-sy. i am so exhausted.

i am not on my computer because i now have less that 1/4 of a screen. (my computer grew legs and jumped off our kitchen counter when i wasn't looking. im not too happy about that one.) since im not on my computer, i dont have my pictures to post... im pretty bummed because i have some hilarious ones!

we had 80's prom last weekend and it was SO much fun! hair spray, hair-teasing, sequins, blue eyeshaddow, and pink lipstick... i'd say i was born in the wrong decade. i had so much fun just getting me and everyone else ready.

we also got to go out to crab island again with a group of friends and it was great. it was so relaxing. a couple people napped! just getting away from project and hanging out together was so fun.

something that was not so fun was what happened on wednesday. oh. my. gosh. project almost saw the wrath of abby cunningham.... it was bad. let me fill you in.

so i get off of work on wednesday and have not had a good day by any means. and i check my phone and have a text from one of my girls.... all it said was "someone pooped in a cup and microwaved it."

i laughed and thought oh thats funny..... but then i found out where and to what extent. upon returning to my room (which i could smell when i pulled up. literally) i come to find that some boys had pooped in a muffin pan and cooked that in our oven, pooped in a cup and microwaved it until it exploded, pooped or peed in 20 cups and hid them all over our room, and then put sour milk in our air vent and turned the air conditioning up to 90.

lets just say i was NOT happy. i had to leave project so that i wouldn't do or say anything i would regret. i then stooped pretty low and sent an unkind text to one of the guys because i thought it would make the situation better or something.... i dont know.

some team leaders came and talked to me and my girls that night and told us that we should forgive them, love them, laugh about it, and move on. and i thought... 'ok ill come do this to your room, tell you that, and then see what you do!' i didn't want to hear it. and then one of them had the nerve to say, "you really can see the Gospel in this! this is a great way to learn to become more like Jesus." to which i wanted to say 'um, please leave my poop-smelling room now. thanks.'

but they were so right. after cooling off and looking at my heart in the situation i saw SO much sin in my heart. it was so cool because going through this showed me just how much God has done in my heart. normally i would harvest every last drop of bitterness towards those guys and just be pissed at them for the rest of my life. seriously! but only 2 days later, i was able to hug it out with one of them and plan out a breakfast we would cook for each other. and i can honestly laugh about the situation. and laugh REALLY hard about how mad i got! it was a little ridiculous....

my summer has just been full of things like that that God used to teach me so much about myself. i know that sounds crazy but he has. so much has gone on at abercrombie&fitch, situations between my girls, having our room bombarded with poop, my phone being eaten by the ocean, my computer growing legs and breaking.... small, small things that the Lord has used to teach me something new about myself or show me sin or whatever. its just been really neat.

im so glad i have a little over a week left! be ready for a crazy "closing" post! im sorry there are no pictures, ill load the next post up with them- i promise! but thats just an update on everything here at the grand ole Sandman!

Prayer Request:
- i want me and my girls to finish strong, but also to finish absolutely weak. i want them and myself to walk away felling like they did absolutely everything they could, soaked up every single moment, and that we just cannot get enough Jesus. finish strong. but i also want us to leave exhausted from doing that, and from growing so much- grow in our awareness of our desperate need for even more Jesus. finish weak.

until next time....

abc.

oh and PS.... check out the new blog! im super pumped about it :)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

why.

so i have been pretty frustrated with the Lord lately. we had the idols talk the other week and that’s when it kind of all started. over the past two years, the Lord has VERY clearly shown me what my idols are by taking them 100% away. and slowly I have become more and more ok with that. and i have now gotten to the point where i see why He did, and i am truly grateful for them being taken away.

going into the idols talk i was pretty confident because i was pretty sure the Lord wasn’t going to reveal to me any more idols. and he didn’t. but he did reveal something to me that’s been really hard. its my lack of faith in Him. sitting there listening to everything Francisco had to say, i found my self getting more and more frustrated with God. i started asking myself why about everything….

why did you have to take that friend away from me? why did you have to make me transfer schools? why did you make project SO hard last summer when all i needed was encouragement? why have i not been back to the same place since christmas of my freshman year? why do i have no idea what i am supposed to do after college? why do you have me at the 1 college i said i would never go to? why do i feel like you are not calling me to cosmetology when that has been what i’ve wanted to do for years now? why can you not just give me what i want! why, God, are you withholding things from me?

and then it hit me. boom. the lie that i believe over and over and over. God is withholding something from me. and i have been angry! really angry. God just give me what i want! why is that such a bad thing?!

i have gotten so frustrated because its not like the things i want are bad! i want consistency, i want something solid, i want clarity, i want answers.

and i realize now why i am so frustrated. that consistency, that firm, solid knowledge, the clarity and answers i want so badly will NEVER be found in the things i was looking for them in. they will only be found in my Savior. and it is when i have that firm, deeply rooted foundation in Christ that all the other things Christ has been striping away from me will give me any fulfillment. find my satisfaction in Christ and then he will give me the desires of my heart. it is then that he will make my righteousness like the light and my judgment like the noonday sun. it is when all my soul desires is Christ that there will be no shadows…

i love this song, but its lyrics have really hit me hard this week…

"In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful

Oh, something beautiful"

abc.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

brief update.

i have been so super busy lately and have ad no time to sit down and blong. and to be honest, i've missed it! and even now i only have about 20 more minuets before i have to be somewhere else so this will be a short one.

we have been having SO much fun!! i feel like we are all just going, going, going but i love it! i am absolutely loving my girls more and more each day.

we have hit the half way mark and its pretty obvious. everyone (at least in my room) is exhausted. but its been so fun because even though the newness of being at project has worn off, we are still having just as much fun being with each other. i really am so thankful for the girls the Lord put in my room.... so heres an update on project life!

'
we had out employee social the other week and it was great! there was lots of dancing, games, and just hanging out with everyone we work with. i hadn't even started work yet so i just mooched off of everyone else's employes and pretended like they were mine!

the 4th was SO much fun!! we got to go over to a Samford guys house and hang out... allllll day. his family was so awesome. they cooked us lunch and dinner! for free!! and we got to go out on their boat to Crab Island, ride jet skiis, swim, and just hangout. that night a group of us got to go to the pier and watch fire works.... again, it was SO much fun!

these lovely ladies and i had alot fun at their house taking pictures.... some of them were HILARIOUS. so far i have taken over 1,300 pictures! ridiculous, i know.

my parents came in town this past weekend and i was so freakin excited!! i didn't realize just how much i had missed them. it was so fun to get to just chill with my family. one night my mom cooked food for everyone and my dad got the UFC fights and a bunch of project people came over and relaxed. it is always so nice to have free food and a clean place!


another fun thing from this week was the social!! it was "High-school Cliques" and my room was the Foreign Exchange Students.... it. was. awesome. we got so many funny looks and had an absolute blast!!

one of my favorite things about project is just the community. i have gotten so close with the girls here and have learned so much from each of them. its been so neat to see how God has used each of us to help one another even though alot of our stories are so different. its been a true picture of what the body of Christ should look like... im really going to miss it.

this is Salon220. i love that Lynze and i have this in common. we are beautifying project one head of hair at a time! haha

this is one of the highlights of my day. for real. courtney is in the process of teaching me lots of nursing skills..... this one in particular is so fun! haha.. taking out her contacts. i must say, ive gotten pretty good!


i am SO proud of my girls for this one. while i was out, some of my girls got our neighbors underwear and strung them up across our parking lot. it was absolutely hilarious. they had some whitey tighteys, boxer briefs, and even some cute little basket ball boxers! they guys weren't as ammused as we were though....

Prayer Requests:
- over all these past 2 weeks have been incredible. alot of us are exhausted and some what sick. pray that we learn to pace ourselves and that the Lord would keep the sickness from spreading any.
- now that everyone has been working we have begun or have already established relationships with our co-workers. pray that God opens doors for spiritual conversations and that each of us would have boldness to really proclaim truth to each of them
- lastly pray for heart changes. now is, like i said, when the newness has worn off and reality starts to set in. this is when people start annoying people, feelings get hurt, the hard questions really start, but also when God really works. pray that each of us here would have a heart of teachability and humility.... and eagerness to see sin so that we can in turn see more of Jesus.

i wish i could go more into depth about what all God has been teaching me, but i just dont have time today.... more to come soon!!

abc.