Saturday, July 24, 2010

rebuilding.


SBP is coming to a close and i am so not ready. i dont want it to be over! i have had the most incredible summer in so many ways... growing spiritually, having my eyes opened to so much, hanging out with awesome new friends, pouring into other girls and being poured into by so many otheres, breaking some rules (haha), getting almost no sleep, working somewhere i would have preferred not to, having to learn to stand up for myself, learning what it means to die to myself, experiencing what the body of Christ looks like and should always be doing, the power of prayer, taking WAY too many pictures, dance parties out the wazoo, developing a deep, deep bond with my 3 girls, experiencing true accountability, being broken, and also being rebuilt. just growing up in every aspect.

this summer was incredible for one main reason- God began the rebuilding of my heart.

since november of my freshman year of college God has taken away so many things that i held so close to my heart and for so long i tried to fight it. after this past semester at auburn, i finally accepted what was going on in my life and decided to start dealing with it. and it has been incredible.

i see now why God broke me down SO much and it was so that he could rebuild me in truth, in wisdom, in passion, and in vision.

before i didn't know who i was without all my "things". now, i still dont know what i want to do with my life, or my major, or where i'll be in 2 years.... but i do know one thing- i know my position in Christ. i know who i am in my Father and i know, that i know, that i know, that i know that he is so sovereign. i love it!

no lie satan feeds me, no desire my flesh craves can satisfy me like my Father. i've heard that literally my. whole. life. but now i can say it and then begin to tell anyone and everyone how and why i know that and BELIEVE it.
_____________________________________

to catch you up on my life.... it has been bu-sy. i am so exhausted.

i am not on my computer because i now have less that 1/4 of a screen. (my computer grew legs and jumped off our kitchen counter when i wasn't looking. im not too happy about that one.) since im not on my computer, i dont have my pictures to post... im pretty bummed because i have some hilarious ones!

we had 80's prom last weekend and it was SO much fun! hair spray, hair-teasing, sequins, blue eyeshaddow, and pink lipstick... i'd say i was born in the wrong decade. i had so much fun just getting me and everyone else ready.

we also got to go out to crab island again with a group of friends and it was great. it was so relaxing. a couple people napped! just getting away from project and hanging out together was so fun.

something that was not so fun was what happened on wednesday. oh. my. gosh. project almost saw the wrath of abby cunningham.... it was bad. let me fill you in.

so i get off of work on wednesday and have not had a good day by any means. and i check my phone and have a text from one of my girls.... all it said was "someone pooped in a cup and microwaved it."

i laughed and thought oh thats funny..... but then i found out where and to what extent. upon returning to my room (which i could smell when i pulled up. literally) i come to find that some boys had pooped in a muffin pan and cooked that in our oven, pooped in a cup and microwaved it until it exploded, pooped or peed in 20 cups and hid them all over our room, and then put sour milk in our air vent and turned the air conditioning up to 90.

lets just say i was NOT happy. i had to leave project so that i wouldn't do or say anything i would regret. i then stooped pretty low and sent an unkind text to one of the guys because i thought it would make the situation better or something.... i dont know.

some team leaders came and talked to me and my girls that night and told us that we should forgive them, love them, laugh about it, and move on. and i thought... 'ok ill come do this to your room, tell you that, and then see what you do!' i didn't want to hear it. and then one of them had the nerve to say, "you really can see the Gospel in this! this is a great way to learn to become more like Jesus." to which i wanted to say 'um, please leave my poop-smelling room now. thanks.'

but they were so right. after cooling off and looking at my heart in the situation i saw SO much sin in my heart. it was so cool because going through this showed me just how much God has done in my heart. normally i would harvest every last drop of bitterness towards those guys and just be pissed at them for the rest of my life. seriously! but only 2 days later, i was able to hug it out with one of them and plan out a breakfast we would cook for each other. and i can honestly laugh about the situation. and laugh REALLY hard about how mad i got! it was a little ridiculous....

my summer has just been full of things like that that God used to teach me so much about myself. i know that sounds crazy but he has. so much has gone on at abercrombie&fitch, situations between my girls, having our room bombarded with poop, my phone being eaten by the ocean, my computer growing legs and breaking.... small, small things that the Lord has used to teach me something new about myself or show me sin or whatever. its just been really neat.

im so glad i have a little over a week left! be ready for a crazy "closing" post! im sorry there are no pictures, ill load the next post up with them- i promise! but thats just an update on everything here at the grand ole Sandman!

Prayer Request:
- i want me and my girls to finish strong, but also to finish absolutely weak. i want them and myself to walk away felling like they did absolutely everything they could, soaked up every single moment, and that we just cannot get enough Jesus. finish strong. but i also want us to leave exhausted from doing that, and from growing so much- grow in our awareness of our desperate need for even more Jesus. finish weak.

until next time....

abc.

oh and PS.... check out the new blog! im super pumped about it :)

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