a tripy kind of day.

Well, today has just been a really funny day.

it all started at 5:45 this morning. Yes, i woke up at 5:45. i got a wake-up call from my mom saying 'time to goooo' so i jumped out of bed, confused, because i had forgotten that i was at home. i slept the entire way back to auburn and my mom dropped my off, just like the good ole days, right in front of my class.

so as i start walking into my class, i quickly lose my balance and slip and fall, completely on my butt, in front of TONS of people, and get many "oh that just made my day" looks. i then precede to my Global Consumer Affairs class, which will be the death of me, only to type all my notes and forget to press Save... so i lost them all.

i then remember, 'Oh ya, i am teaching today and forgot i have to rent out instruments!"

so i scurry on over to haley center and rent out "music sticks" then go to the Education Library to rent a CD for the class. after taking up, literally, 30 min of the librarians time, a girl from my class walks in to inform me she checked out the CD and has a burned copy for me.... which she told me in class last week, i had just forgotten. whats new.

so i head out to the school to teach a Pre-K class about Loud and Soft sounds.. and when i ask "what is a really loud sound in nature that you can think of?" one little, very precious, boy says, "ooo ooo ooo pick me! pick me! a butterfly!!" no, im sorry... butterflies are silent. and i had MANY other answers just like that during the entire lesson!

also, while i was in the middle of teaching, another little boy (my personal favorite) raises his hand and says in his cute little voice, "Ms. Cunninham can i go gets some stishus? i gots some buggies!" and sure enough, his finger is COVERED in green boogers. i tried not to laugh, but i couldn't help it.

i then head back to my house to sit down and get some homework done, but fall asleep and take a 4 hour nap. oops. and it wasn't until i put my hands down to sit up that i realized how bad my hands hurt from falling this morning and just started laughing at my ridiculous day.

all that being said, the classroom was incredible. i absolutely loved it. the kids were the cutest little kids i have ever seen. and all they wanted was to the center of attention. i can't wait to have a classroom of my own!

abc.

i am second.

i know, i know.. i already blogged once today. but whatever.

there's this website that i think is so cool called "i am second." you should check it out... today i was on it and came across this little girl's clip . it was amazing to me that a girl this young could actually get it.

but what blew me away was when i came across Brian Welch's clip. this guy used to be in the band Korn and his testimony is incredible.

but what REALLY blew me away was how these two people- literally as opposite as they come- are talking about the same God. thats amazing.

abc.

instruments in His hands.

"The good news of the kingdom is not freedom from hardship, suffering, and loss.

It is the news of a Redeemer who has come to rescue me from myself.

His rescue produces change that fundamentally alters my response to these inescapable realities.

The Redeemer turns rebels into disciples, fools into humble listeners.

He makes cripples walk again.

In him we can face life and respond with faith, love, and hope.

And as he changes us, he allows us to be a part of what he is doing in the lives of others.

As you respond to the Redeemer’s work in your life, you can learn to be an instrument in his hands."

-Paul David Tripp

abc.

here with me.

"I long for your embrace

Every single day

To meet you in this place

And see you face to face

Will you show me?

Reveal yourself to me?

Because of your mercy

I fall down on my knees

And I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

You're everywhere I go

I am not alone

You call me as your own

To know you and be known

You are holy

And I fall down on my knees

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

I surrender to your grace

I surrender to the one who took my place

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I'm lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love."

i have a huge nutrition test tomorrow. the last test i had in there, i studied 5 days in advance, made over 300 notecards (which i knew EVERY SINGLE ONE), and took every practice quiz/test i could, and rewrote ALL my notes. annnnd i ended up with a 62 on that test.

our test tomorrow, according to our teacher, is supposed to be ALOT harder...

i met with my advisor today about classes for next semester and how im doing in this one. it was then that she informed me that the cohort im applying for only accepts the top 25 students and so if i wanted to have a fair chance at even getting considered then i needed to have AT LEAST a 3.0 by the end of this semester.

so, ever since that meeting, i have been absolutely freaking out about my test tomorrow. if i studied that much for my test last time and got that bad of a grade and this one is supposedly harder- how the heck am i supposed to get a good enough grade in this class to bring my GPA up even more?! i feel like there is SO much pressure on me to be perfect. i feel like i have absolutely no room for error.

i know that i am a smart girl. but after my last test in this class, i have zero confidence in myself regarding my capability to know, understand, and do well on my test tomorrow.

so as im sitting in barns and nobel silently feeling like my world is crashing down on me so hard i want to just give up, this song comes on my shuffle and it hits me. that verse i have heard a million and one times...

"i can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."

does that mean i no long have to study? no. does that mean that i can do the bare minimum and he'll take care of the rest? no. God is no magical genie that i can just make a wish and he bow to my every desire. (thank goodness!)

BUT- it does mean that i can rest secure in the knowledge that God is here- with me. and in the grande scheme of things, though my test tomorrow is very important, there are bigger things at work here. and God sovereign so this whole stressin' to the max about my future, and applying for this school, and finding cohorts, or pre-teaching, or WHATEVER- that God is in total control of this. "...You're everywhere I go- I am not alone. You call me as your own , to know you and be known..." i am not alone in this because Christ has had my life intricately planned out since before i was knit together in my mothers womb.

again, this blog was for me. to preach to myself the gospel that God is in total control of my life. and stressing like i have been does nothing but suck every last drop of joy out of this entire process.

pray for me as i study and take this test, because i do need to do really good on it! but also pray that i will constantly be reminded that my identity is not in my grades, and that the Lord is so beautifully sovereign.

abc.

reminiscing.

on twitter, on facebook, on campus, and in every conversation, people are talking about this gorgeous weather. how pretty it is outside, how much they love that its finally cold and they can pull out their boots and flannel and drink a pumpkin spice latte from starbucks. i think i read 30 tweets just today about how life is so stressful but this gorgeous weather/time of year is helping get them through it... it just puts them in a great mood.

it hasn't really done the same for me. its actually brought up very mixed emotions- excited, frustrated, anxious, sad, peaceful, angry.... but just tonight i feel like i've figured out why...

i know i was only there for one fall, but that one fall at wofford was indescribable. before i go any further... this is a happy post- i promise. this isn't resorting back to my 'woe is me' phase. as a disclaimer, i do like auburn and this is in NO way me saying i wish i wasn't here....

that being said, wofford really is beautiful this time of year. but its more what i did with all my friends that fall that makes me reminisce so much. just to tell a couple stories...

- one night at around midnight steph and i decided we wanted "HOT NOWWWW" doughnuts and that we wanted to go star gaze. so we got the doughnuts (2 dozen.. freshmen 15 much?), got all our friends up, and about 11 or so of us went out on the football field, ate hot doughnuts, and star gazed. that was followed by a ridiculous amount of pictures, some sliding down the big hill, and then campus safety spotlighting us, taking down all our names, and giving us a stern talking to...

- another night me and 5 of my closest girl friends decided to partake in some pranking.. we preceded to cover our friends car in, literally, thousands of post its. it was beautiful. funny thing- that was only one night after the football field incident and yes, we got talked to again by campus safety... it was great.

- there was one time when steph, quinn, and i decided to drive to greenville only to arrive there at around 1. so by the time we decided to head back at around 345 i asked quinn to drive because i was too tired... needless to say, i was out in about 2 min (maybe less) and do not remember one thing about the drive home. much less getting into bed. i was so worn out.

- another fall memory is when steph, jack, and i all went and sat at "The Spot" and eventually made it out onto the baseball field at around 1 or 2 just to lay there, bundled up, talking about our lives...

there are countless other stories that i hold so close to my heart with those friends. its hard for me here- because walking around campus, seeing the football field, then the baseball field, seeing a place that has rocking chairs similar to "The Spot", and so many other things... it just takes me back. back to a great year filled with some of the best friends i've ever known.

the reason im blogging all this is for my sake. for SO long, i've thought that to 'get over' transferring, or to 'move on' i had to suppress those memories. i thought that if i talked about them then i would start crying and just get depressed or something. but its the opposite. by allowing myself to see the good in those, its allowed me to really appreciate the good here.

those are some of my most favorite memories that i have. and talking about them brings the biggest smile to my face. talking about them, reminiscing, brings this surreal joy to me that is kinda unexplainable.

the beginning of this season was really hard for me because i kept thinking 'i just want to go back'.. but thats not true. i want to be in the will of my Father, regardless of how easy or hard it is. and He has me here. and its great.

i made myself write those memories because they are such fun memories to have and the people that are in them- they will never be replaced. ever. but what i forgot in all my self-pitty is that there are SO many memories still to be made! here. now. with the incredible friends God has blessed me with here.

do we have somewhere close thats fun like greenville? no. do we have access to the football and baseball stadiums at the wee hours of the night? not if we dont want to go to jail..... but when i think back to that chapter of my life- we could have been sitting on the floor in marsh 219 and been having just as much fun. it was the people. and that is what the Lord has given me here and is continuing to open my eyes to.

i have some amazing friends here. friends that, because of knowing them, i am a better person. and i can't wait to do all kinds of fun, spontaneous, ridiculous, possibly stupid things with.

- go on numerous road trips to who knows where with the bestie, iz.

- randomly drive an hour and a half just to go to prietsers so that katie and i could get really good pecans and ice cream

- have random rolling-chair dances in the studio

- going to insamnia just to hang out with some great friends

- FISHBOWL.

- procrastinating by painting random quote things for our house with amy...

i am so grateful for the friends that the Lord has given me. the ones here, the ones there, and the ones everywhere in between...

"more than that,

we REJOICE in our sufferings,

knowing that suffering produces endurance,

and endurance produces character,

and character produces hope,

and hope does not put us to shame,

because God's love has been poured into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit

who has been given to us..."

romans 5:3-5

abc.

inspired by life.

well- i have been very inspired to blog lately, but i literally have had no time. so here i am.. finally catching up. so many things have been happening in my heart and in my life. i know this sounds cheesy, but life has been inspiring me to write so much. i have been journaling my really personal thoughts but i just have so much that i dont ever want to forget. its hard to keep up when time is so relentless to slow down. even as im typing im trying to make sure there isn't something better i should be doing with this time. (because everyone knows how great i am at time management....)

this whole post is (as the title infers) me coming to grips that i, and all my friends, are growing up SO fast. it is cra-zyy. my best friend turned 22 this week! and my little brother (who i still picture playing in the mud at age 3) turned 17. what happened to that time?

since i couldn't be home for tanners birthday, this coming weekend is all about him.. im so excited to get to spend alot of time with him and the rest of the fam. but since my bestie was here- i celebrated her 22 years with her.

iz and i have gone through so much together. up and downs just like any other set of best friends. but what i love so much is that we have gotten to really grow up together. yes in the literal meaning but also in maturity. we have been running together since the most immature of our days.. i am so blessed and thankful to have a best friend that i know i can go to and say anything to and she will TOTALLY, 100% understand what im trying to say even when it comes out like another language. we have this joke that "it makes since up there" and thats the only way i can explain my friendship with her.... i could never put it into words- but for the both of us, its simple. we besties. and it makes since to us two... up there! (her turning 22 is reminder # 1 million that time is going way too fast)

Happy 22nd Birthday iz. i love you so much and would be totally lost without you.

speaking of being lost without someone... my mom pulled a major 'mom of the year' for me this past week and it was so fun/meant so much to me. me and some of my friends decided to have over the new baby ZTA's to get to know them better... because our house is ballin' i volunteered to have a pot-luck dinner at my house. so we did what every kid these days does to make something official- we sent out the good ole facebook group invite and all picked something to bring.

i then, of course, call my mom in a frantic tizzy because after volunteering to make her oh-so-delicious mexican lasagna, i realize i have no flippin idea how to even begin making that dish. she, being the most amazing mom i know, just decided to make it a day trip and come cook with me. it was great. i got to spend most of the afternoon with her teaching me her tricks and recipes and how to take care of left overs... it was so fun! (and reminder #2 million and 1 that i am growing up way too fast)

this is the kitchen after being taken over by my mom and i... i must brag here for a second and say it was the best dang mexican lasagna i've had yet and all my friends kept telling me what a fantastic cook i was. to which i just chuckled and said, 'thank my mom!'

mom- thanks so much for coming down. it meant so much to me :)

ever since then though i have this idea stuck in my head that im freakin Betty Crocker. i cant go into the kitchen without wanting to cook something. its ridiculous. and keep in mind- i am in college, in a house with 8 girls, and absolutely zero cooking supplies. so when i decide i want to cook something it is quickly overruled because that means 1 of 3 things...

1. i have to go out and buy about $35-40 dollars worth of stuff to even be able to make it

2. i will dirty up the kitchen, which means i have to clean it

3. i will have to eat all of it at one sitting because i never remember that i have leftovers.

or all of the above.

however. i have found 1 thing that i can make, feel like im a profesh cook while making it, that can be easily devoured by 1 to 3 girls within 5 min and seems to always spark good conversation.... introducing my friend guac.

i love making it. i like to pretend that i am Rachel Ray on my own cooking show. i can chop, mix, pinch this, and tid-bit that, all i want... i legit get so into it. its actually pretty embarrassing. but i really do go all out... i went to kroger (where i saved $10.53 from my kroger card... im SO proud) and got fresh avocados, bell peppers, onions, cilantro, tomatoes, and limes and made my own little concoction....
i chopped me up some bell peppers and baby tomatoes...

...and mixed till my little heart was happy and then pigged. out.

something so fun that i did this week was go and see Easy A. go see it. it is SO funny! katie, iz, and i went and saw it and not only was it hilarious, but the whole experience was pretty eventful. iz and i got there early to save seats and katie was going to meet us there. well you know how there are always those people that decide to be the most difficult people on the planet? well they ALL got together and decided to be in 1 movie theater all at the same time. it was ridiculous.

of allllll the seats in the theater, this group of girls come and plops right in front of iz and i where we CLEARLY have our feet. then another group of girls comes and sit directly next to me. and i get stuck next to sickly sally who is blowing her nose every 3 minuets while also chomping on her popcorn which she so conveniently kicks over, quite loudly, half way through the movie. it was wooounderful.

really though- it was so funny because iz and i were just being rude and ridiculous right back. im surprised there was no fight.

(speaking of fighting- i got a personal trainer. i want to fight her because i am so sore.)

on a more serious note- the Lord has been so faithful to me. just within these past 2 weeks i have felt so close to the Lord. he has provided thing after thing that has reminded me of his great goodness. through the relationships i have with so many dear friends, to small encouragement's throughout this week, to just really sweet times in the Word with Him... he continues to reveal himself to me in new and neat ways.

he continues to bring people in my life that i am so incredibly thankful for. if you know me at all- you know relationships run my life. i am ALL ABOUT the relationship with a person. and the Lord has seriously blessed me with the most incredible relationships. with new friends, old friend, and life-long friends that seem almost like family. i have gotten to be so encouraged while skyping with my far-away friends, challenged by talking with my new friends, and i have just been so content with everything. the Lord really is so good.

there is only one area in my life right now that is anything but peaceful. there is this huge piece of my heart busting at the seem to unleash itself but it cant and i dont know how or when it will be able to. lately the Lord has given me such a desire to go overseas. i want to GO. i want to go so bad. i want to take a stand in my faith and get cultural experience. i want to get out of this bubble that i have known my whole life. i want to be rudely awakened. i want to experience life as i've never known it. i want to taste, i want to see, i want a tangible grasp, i want new colors, i want new sunsets, i want new faces... i want a new culture. i want to be 100% immersed in the cultural identity of something i have never even dreamed of. i want to get out and go. and i am praying that the Lord shows me where and how because i feel like i am going to suffocate if i dont get out...

welp. thats a recap on this crazy life of mine. 'till next time.....

abc.

all-nighter.

well, i pulled my first all-nighter tonight. my first one in all of college and i can safely say, i hope this is the last. all my eyes want to do is shut. if i don't do well on all these test i am just going to disobey this 'no sugar september' thing and eat a snickers and a blue powerade slushy from sonic because thats really all i want right now! back to studying!

abc.

delirious.

i have been doing homework since 10:30 am. it is now 10:37 pm. i had a 15 min lunch break and then about an 1 hour and 30 min dinner break.... thats approx 10 hours of homework. ON A SATURDAY. i am not ok with this, college.

abc.

reminder.

for our long weekend i got to go to the lake with some awesome, awesome friends. it was so much fun and a much needed break.

the whole weekend we just hung out and enjoyed getting to laugh with each other and catch up. half of us go to auburn and the other half go to samford... i love weekends like these when i get to be with the people i love regardless of how far (or not far) we live from each other.

it was so fun just laying out, dancing on the dock, telling each other funny stories, encouraging each other in Christ, and just having a girls weekend.

we also got to watch the gorgeous sunset together and soak in the beauty of that. so of course we had to throw what we know.....

my all time favorite of the weekend was that night. 4 of us went out on the roof, laid on a quilt, looked at the starts and just talked.

so many girls i have talked to recently have said "i just wish....", "i know but if i could just...", and my personal favorite "if i were just there though..." i say those lines about 8 trillion times a day. and this weekend was so good for me to be reminded that God has me and my friends exactly where he wants us.

i miss my friends that go to other schools alot. and so many times i play the what if game and think of how much easier it would be if i "were just there"... but the truth is that doesn't matter. God has me and those friends in the place that he wants me to be.

this night (in the picture below) reminded me of that. the Lord has provided me with incredibl friends here at auburn and i am SO blessed to be here- with them. and weekends like this past one are great to get to be reunited with other dear friends, but i cannot forget the incredible friends that i have with me day in and day out.

i cant wait to see what else the Lord has in store for me and all my friends.. here or at other colleges. and i cant wait for another lake trip!! (hint hint Nay Nay)

abc.