Tuesday, December 17, 2013

the everyday.


This link has been posted all over facebook with varying tag lines from, "HELL YA!", to "Legit. So True!", "PREACH.", and my personal favorite "Finally, someone got it right". So, I finally caved and clicked the link. And by the time I finished reading the second one....

 I. was. baffled. 

I was speachless.

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Here are just a few of the "mistakes you dont want to make"...

"- Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love
While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual.
Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes you boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home."

There has been nothing more fulfilling in my life than "fulfilling the wishes of another individual". There has been no greater push for personal growth than this marriage. And on top of that, I spent most all of my life being complacent and it has been through my relationship and now marriage with Jake that I have finally found something that is constantly changing me, growing me, and challenging me; making my life anything BUT boring. (Aside from my walk with the Lord.)

"- Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

Unless you’re chilling with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break anytime soon."

I think we can all agree that down time IS VITAL. And anyone who tries to argue that is clearly mindless because who doesn't love a saturday of good food, friends, and some football?!

- Investing in relationships with the wrong values
Your love life is an investment — and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become. Instead of navigating through an ambiguous investment in which you shower your lover with cash and prizes for existing, make sure he or she will demonstrate positive returns. Your love life should have a solid ROI.

Like, whaaaaaaaat? Only being in a relationship that has a "good ROI' for you? I'm sorry, but what happened to being in a relationship because, regardless of their faults - Lord knows we all have them- you love them. No one is perfect and no one ever will be. Looking for a relationship based off of what returns you will get is just pointless because everyone, no matter how great, is going to disappoint at sometime. And that is the beauty of love- that you love them anyways!
- Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life
You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose.
What happened to being a friend? Being a friend means that in good times and bad, you are there for the other person. If my friends stopped hanging out with me when I stopped inspiring then, I WOULD HAVE NO FRIENDS! Being friends with someone is so much more than just what you can get for yourself! And while we are on that topic, so is being in a relationship. Neither one is meant for selfishness. The times that my relationship and my friendships have been most fulfilling has been when I was being selfless. 
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I have never posted on here about something that made me mad, but this just stuck a chord. If these are the values that my generation is agreeing to, then what will our kids be like? Heck, what will OUR lives be like in 5 years? If you live by these rules, I'd say you will probably be really rich, but terribly lonely and having no true friends. And frankly, I would absolutely hate my life if I didn't have my friends and if I didn't have Jake.

I don't live a very glamours life. I work retail, we live in an apartment, we budget to the penny, my husband teaches 11th grade and coaches football. Our date nights consist of the occasional [cooked at home] dinner and a movie, my shopping budget is $50 a month, and you know what? 

I am THE HAPPIEST that I have ever been in my entire life. 

Every part of me feels alive and fulfilled.

I am daily faced with the challenge of dying to self in order to love someone better. I am certain in who I am because I know who I am loved by (and that is not just limited to Jake). And I have the most incredible support group of friends surrounding me, that FYI, aren't "inspiring" me, but they sure as heck are loving me well. 

So, please, can we all stop with this ME obsession. Can we all look past ourselves and our wants and see someone else's. I hate to bust the myth, but you can still be successful even if you love some one, even if you have friends that need you, even if you enjoy a Saturday... I bet you will actually be MORE successful if you have those things. 

Lets all take some time to appreciate those things. The things that apparently our society sees as "boring" things that "bog you down", take time to marvel in them! Thats where true life is, in the everyday. And, I wouldn't trade my everyday for anything in the world. 

abc.

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