Friday, June 25, 2010

breaking down.

this has been a whirl wind of a week.

the way project is set up, theres not much down time. you are constantly being fed with all kinds of information, working (for some haha), hanging out.... theres no time to really sit down and really let it all sink in. and when your the type person i am... if it has to do with people- you cant say no! so i feel like i am constantly going, going, going. and im not complaining! i absolutely love it.

there is a problem in that though. i am really bad at taking time for myself. time for myself to just get away, be with the Lord, digest everything, and chill. so i have all this information, conviction, excitement.... on my mind/heart and it seems to all hit me at once. that was this week.

on monday i went and met with my d-group (not the girls im leading, but the one im in) and when they asked me how i was doing.... it was like they pressed that one button. it just alllll hit me. and i lost it! i just cried and cried haha.

the Lord has done something really neat in my heart. i have gotten to the point where i really HATE sin. ive never hated it before... ive not liked it and known i needed to deal with it, but i have never absolutely despised my sin and been disgusted by it. and i finally got to that point. but when i got there it was SO overwhelming because where do i go from there? i know i can never be sin-free. so i just cried because i didn't know what else to do.

and that was when i really got to see such a cool picture of what the body of Christ does. without hesitating i had 3 girls ready to give me scripture, pray with me, encourage me, and just love me. it was so neat. all 3 of them had 3 or 4 verses for me and such encouraging words. one of the girls, christine, told me something ive heard but never REALLY heard....

"Glance at your sin, but GAZE at the cross"

i love that. it was so comforting to hear. and since then it has been so neat... i feel like i just cant get enough of Christ. it was like i needed that break down to break the wall of i-have-it-all-together-ness to really get to the heart of things- to really see my desperate need for Christ.

in the talk this week Seth explained what the body is like in a way that had ever donned on me... he said when you step on a nail you dont have to think- ok i am going to shift my weight to m other leg. now i need to use my eyes and look for somewhere to sit down. ok now i need to make my arm go out to help ease myself down to that chair. ok now i need to bend my knee..... no. when you step on a nail all of your body reacts immediately and goes into action, in its own specific way, to help that one foot.

it was like a million light bulbs went off. and i got to see that happen. Lo didnt even wait for me to finish before she had already pulled out her Bible and opened it and was waiting for me to finish so that she could encourage me. and as soon as she finished both other girls had scripture too. they didnt even think about it- they knew part of the body was hurting and they jumped right into action.

it was just really cool and so encouraging. and since then, i have had the BEST week! i really have. i have had some one on one's that have been SO encouraging, gotten to hang out with alot of awesome people, i got to go out on the beach yesterday with 2 friends and share with some people and it was incredible, i got kicked out of the track last night which was AWESOME, and most importantly i have just been so filled and satisfied with the Lord.

i dont want to grow complacent though. my prayer is that God would continue this work in me and show me more and more of Himself.

Prayer Request:
-we have the Employee Social tonight! pray that all the employees that come would get to experience the acceptance and just fun that is found in the body of Christ
-its been 3 weeks now and the excitement of getting to project is kind of wearing off... pray that all of us stay focused and continue to rely on the Lord
-pray for intentional conversations at work.

thanks for all the prayers thus far!


1 comment:

  1. Abby, I just want to say thank you for keeping this blog. You are such a beautiful display of what Christ can do in our lives. You are a real blessing and encouragement to me. I am praying for you and your continued breaking of yourself before the Lord. I love you, girl!