i registered for classes today and thought i was going to fall out of my seat when i read, "your class for registration purposes is senior". i literally FLIPPED. OUT. i cannot believe i only have 2 semesters of college left. where did that time go?
as i have had the reality of the real world coming quickly sinking in, i have been sorting through alot that has occurred in my life recently. for me, to make a decision of importance (like, what i am going to do with my life, if i should go to grad school, if so- what for... you know, basic stuff), then i like to have all my "girly emotions" sorted through so that i can actually think clearly. i like to get all my ups and downs dealt with so that i can logically think through and pray through what i feel the Lord is calling me to.
thats been hard to do recently though. i think the Lord is teaching me alot about simply finding peace in his sovereign hand. which means having peace in not knowing and in not understanding. over the course of my college experience, the Lord has taught me alot about his sovereignty. he has taught me to trust his sovereignty, to submit to his sovereignty, and to be thankful for his sovereignty. but, finding peace, TRUE peace in it has been hard for me.
there have been some things go on recently in my life and thus in my heart that have not exactly lead to peace. things that have lead to alot of disappointment, alot of hurt. i think i am learning more and more that the only thing i can truly put my hope in is my heavenly Father. things, situations, people, just life in general ha- things/situations/people will disappoint, will let you down, wont follow through... but never, in my entire life, has the Lord promised something and not followed through. not once has the Lord spoken and it has not come to pass. i love that.
it has been so neat to see how the Lord has continued to draw me to himself despite my efforts to do otherwise. He has continued to place incredible friends in my life that constantly not only speak truth to me, but demonstrate it to me in love. i have been so thankful for that. for the friends that constantly remind me that the Lord is for me. that He is my protector, my guidance, and my peace.
"I have said these things to you,
that in me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation.
But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
its so neat to think about how constant the Lord is. how in what im sorting through now- the God in that verse is in control of my life. And, in a year, when I am looking at grad schools and internships and the real world in all its scariness- that is the God that will be in control of my life. And then, 10 years down the road, whether im overseas doing missions, in the states doing missions, or (i PRAY that this not be true) in the states, behind a desk, in my cubical- that that is the God that will be in control of my every single action.
that is a peaceful, comforting truth to be reminded of.