this post has been a long time in the making. i started thinking about how to write this one starting about 4 months ago. and since then its become pretty comical... i've had about 30 million conversations that i wish i could just transcribe what was said onto here to make my point.
boys. where's a girl to start?
i think its funny how no matter how long a girl has known another girl, or even if they 'technically' speak the same language. there is a universal language for girls and its called Boys. i may know a girl 5 minutes and we could have a legit heart to heart about boys. all my Thai friends... what was one of the most discussed things? you guessed it... boys.
why is that? why is it that girls love talking about boys? if you know- do tell because i'd love to know.
so why blog about it? well one because i just think its hilarious. but more so because some incredible things have come from those conversations. i have learned some pretty good life lessons after a good boy talk.
it seems like so many of my friends, including myself, have allowed the smallest things, the smallest comments from a boy that we found... important... to create a huge insecurity. insecurities of body image, personality traits, little quirky habits, the way we dress... you name it and i can promise there is a girl somewhere out there that has an insecurity because of it.
now, i dont want this to come off like i am on a rampant soap box about how i hate boys. because that is NOT the case at all. im not mad at any boy or anything. i just re-read what i wrote so far and it kinda sounded like the opening to a cheesy romantic comedy that you can guess the ending to in like 5 minutes and i sounded like the characters in those that sat at home stuffing their face with ice cream and complaining to anyone who will listen about how dumb boys are. so that is NOT the case. boys, i you are awesome.
it has just been really interesting to me to have conversation after conversation about insecurities and then as the conversation continues there always seems to be a comment somewhere in there that says something like this... "well... its just hard because i felt, like, i dont know.. unwanted by him" and boom. theres where we, as girls, think the problem lies.
every girl, no matter the age, or how much they put up a front saying that they dont... every girl wants to be treasured. every girl wants to be valued. every girl wants to be desired. that love thing i blogged about maybe a year ago... thats whatever THAT is that i dont know about yet. thats the thing that i know is out there but i just dont know it yet. and every. single. girl. wants it.
so what i've seen become a pattern in my friends and i's minds is this: when we get into a relationship with a guy... that is our desire. we are hoping that he will treasure, value, and want us. and the second it doesn't work out, we think- there must be something wrong with me. there must be a reason he wouldn't want to treasure me. to see me as valuable.
and in finally understanding this about myself i've come to understand some pretty incredible things about the Lord and just life.
1. where am i placing my identity and worth? why as girls is it so hard for us to understand that our worth is not comprehensible? why is it that we can't wrap our heads around the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? that there is not a flaw in you? that the Creator of the universe made us in HIS image! why can't we allow that to sink in? why do we not understand that we are treasured! dang it, you are valued. you are wanted. you are so incredibly wanted! when all those insecurities sink in- why do we not see that there was a man who hung on a cross to declare his love for us? beauty is held in the eye of the Beholder... do we not understand that the Eye never leaves us?
2. that cant be our expectation. why? because guys dont need and cant handle that kind of expectation. boys aren't meant to "complete us". God is. it's not fair for us to place parts of our identity in something that is equally filled with sin. thats like just waiting for a bomb to go off. we have somehow got to get through to our head and heart that our identity has to be in Christ.
i said i was never going to post this, but i just cant resist... its way too good.