(to really set the mood for this post, scroll to the bottom and press play while reading!)
i am now officially a senior in college. where did the time go? sometimes it seems like yesterday i was saying goodbye and moving up to wofford and then at other times it seems like years ago i was wofford.
its funny, when you leave to go to college you have so many expectations, so many dreams. and with the exception of 2, i have done all the ones that i wanted to do. but the 2 left i will be accomplishing within the year!
after each year in college i do something to make sure i dont forget all my crazy times. freshman year i made a movie. i would post it on here but its like 17 min long and i dont want to cry.
last year though, to say it gently, was miserable. so i just journaled about it because it was a little too depressing for most to know.
but junior year. what a year.
this year i fell in love with my sorority, i made more incredible friends, i went to some awesome concerts, i tried some more random churches because they were the cool ones to go to and then realized that i absolutely love my small church here, i really screwed up... a lot, i actually enjoyed and learned some cool stuff in my classes (to incoming freshman- do go talk to your teachers. they are actually really cool)...
i did things i love more and tried not to let wether it was cool or not matter to me, i ghosted some people on campus (highly recommended), i messed up in a friendship and was called out on it... twice, i also realized after that how much friendships - especially that one- mean to me, i finally allowed myself to love auburn, i got to go visit my friends at wofford, i actually did keep up with my friends from project...
i figured out what i want to do after college (not necessarily with my life, just after college), i found like-minded friends, i got alot closer with my big sister, i re-discovered my obsession with crazy nail polish, i got in and then out of a relationship that taught me a whole lot, i learned common sense when thinking spontaneously (on most accounts...), i got accountability partners, i made friends in class, i found more fun parks...
and lastly, there is this quote that says, “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best” i know thats a pretty dramatic quote ha, but i've found friends that do that for me. here. in auburn. and i can promise you that that is something i never thought would happen.
i have found friends that know my insecurities and encourage me in them, ones that put up with my when im at my hyperest, ones that know i am sometimes hard to handle but that still love me, ones that call me out on my selfishness, ones that love the fact that im a little out of control and aren't embarrassed by it, ones that when i am at my worst, most irritable, pissed off, stay-the-heck-away-from-me mood, they take time to break down my defense walls and just love me. i really am so blessed.
and that is what this year has been all about for me. i think that has been the learning theme this year. learning what it means to be a friend. everyone knows i could talk to a wall. everyone knows i love people. but just because i like you and can talk to you for hours on end does not mean i am a good friend to you. from the way that friends at wofford have made sure we all stay in touch, to my project friends that do the same, to my friends that are here- every day- loving, laughing, crying, playing, eating, running, building forts, going thrifting, shooting photography, making crafts, going to the airport, getting in the word, talking about boys and life after college and what we are doing with our lives and who have we become and where did the time go and on and on and on.... through all that. i know what a friend is. i know what friendship is. i may suck at it at times, but im working on it.
junior year has been great. but now i am a senior in college. what. the. heck. if senior year is half as crazy, fun, and unexpected as junior year then i am in for one good year. bring it on senioritus, i am definitely ready for you.