a dream, perfection, hilarious, vulnerable, heaven, comfortable, normal, exciting, hard, frustrating, peaceful, interesting, life changing, unbelievable, indescribable, humbling, breaking, and the MOST FUN of my life!!
the list could go on. there is just no way to put the first week of marriage into words. there have been so many mixed emotions. it has been such a whirlwind...
all growing up you have this idea of what married life is going to be like... you think about what it will be like greeting your husband when he comes home from work, what it will be like to wake up with him and cook breakfast, what it will be like to go on dates and then not have to say goodbye after, what it will be like to just hang out and watch a movie, what your first fight will be like.... at least as a girl, we spend SO MUCH TIME thinking, dreaming and trying to create in our heads what it will be like to be married.
it is so much better than i ever imagined!!
because in all that thinking and wondering, i couldn't imagine the feeling in my heart when i greeted jake when he came home from work, and i couldn't imagine the overwhelming peace in my heart when we woke up together and then made pancakes, and i couldn't imagine how happy i would be to just hang out and watch Despicable Me.... i didn't know that my heart had the capability to love this much.
[granted, we are still in the "honeymoon" phase, but whatever!!! it is the best!]
all leading up to our wedding, i was reading The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. incredible book. i HIGHLY recommend it, even if you are no where near marriage. in it he said:
"...it is because marriage has both strong horizontal and vertical aspects to it... the covenant made between a husband and a wife is done "before God" and therefore with God as well as the spouse. to break faith with your spouse is to break faith with God at the same time. This is the reason that so many traditional Christian wedding services have both a set of questions as well as a set of vows. In the questions, each spouse is asked something like this:
will you have this woman to be your wife? and will you make your promise to her in all love and
honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness -- to live with her, and cherish her,
according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?
I take you to be my lawful and wedded husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful wife. in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall life.
...so the covenant with and before God strengthens the partners to make a covenant with each other. Marriage is therefore the deepest of human covenants."
this past week i have thought a lot about what that all means and i think the above truth is why this week has been so incredible...
just like when you first accept Jesus Christ as your savior, there is an unruly eagerness in your soul to learn about Him, praise Him, spend time in prayer and in the word, and to walk with him faithfully everyday. then as time goes by, there are ups and downs, but ultimately there is always the deep rooted desire to know and be known by Christ that draws you back into communion with Him.
because of the covenant's taken before our friends and family and then before God and each other, i see it as an earthly reflection of the above. in this "honeymoon phase" there is an unruly eagerness in my soul to learn Jake, to make over him, to spend time in conversation with him, and to walk with him faithfully everyday of my life. and we both know, that as time goes by there will be ups and downs, but ultimately there is always the deep rooted desire to know and be known by Jake, and that draws me more and more in love with him.
that is why the day-to-day things have been so fun... because i am learning jake. and what has been the most incredible thing and biggest answer to prayer is that as i have learned jake (in just 1 week), i have been pushed more and more to learn of my Heavenly Father.