Saturday, January 21, 2012

my mud pies.

its funny how when you are searching for something, you don't usually find it. and when you're not really looking for something, you find it.

i have this rule of thumb - if i lose something, i refuse to look for it. because it somehow always seems to turn up when i forgot that i lost it.

recently the Lord has been shaking me up and kinda re-routing what path i thought i was heading down... a fork in the road if you will. so today i went to get in the word and was looking for a verse that i didn't know the reference for, which means of course i couldnt find it. i looked, and looked.... and nothing. so when i flipped to the back of my bible to the concordance, a sheet of paper i had taken sermon notes on from a long time ago fell out and instead of a verse to claim, i got a whole sermon.

dated: 1. 19. 2009.

preacher: Andy Lewis (check him out... he is LEGIT)

title: faith - what is it?

concluding note: "elation from desperation"

we never know what the Lord is preparing us for when we go to church on a sunday 3 years ago. or how sweet these 3 little words might be 10 years from now. or how peaceful a reference will be 5 months from now... we just never know what our Father is preparing for us...

its always intesting to me that the times i journal, pray, study the word, memorize scripture, listen to sermons, and every other stereotypical christian thing i could do, are when i am in desperation. desperation for clarity, guidance, understanding... desperately searching for the Lords will for my life.

but isnt that ironic? elation from desperation. desperation = seeking HARD after the Lord. seeking HARD after the Lord = Jesus. Jesus = elation. pretty simple, huh?

so why do we wait till we're desperate to seek HARD after him?

for me? because im distracted. i am SO easily distracted.

c.s.lewis knew what was up:

"Our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We’re half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition. When infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum, because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

my hope and prayer is that in my day in/day out life - i wouldnt wait for desperation to sink in till i finally look to my Father. but that in all, above all, and first of all
i would seek the precious face of Jesus causing
'all the things of this world to grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace'.


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